Twin Flames, Soul Mates-How Are They Different? — Pam Evans

Image by Rob Schwartz from Pixabay

For decades, I was on an intense search for “the one”-that soul mate who would make my lackluster life sparkle and glow with eternal love, happiness and joy, just by his very presence. If I could just find that rare bird, we would live in peace and harmony forever, and, someday, celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. Family and friends would cheer us on to wedded bliss until, inevitably, death did us part.

My very first true love-who became my first husband when I was just 18-surely seemed like “the one.” He swept me off my feet and I ecstatically thought he would be everything to me, forever. Unfortunately, within just six years, that marriage came to an end. Blame it on timing, circumstances, plus immaturity and/or poor judgment on my part.

Soon I found myself embarking on a second journey to find a new “soul mate” with whom I could walk, hand-in-hand, into the uncertain future. It took me years to realize that each time I was in a close connection with a new man, he turned into my soul mate, and brought new experiences, new ways of thinking, and new lessons learned into my life. Each man (or, sometimes, woman-since soul mates do not have to be romantic partners) moved me closer to the worthy goal of evolution as a human spirit.

Soul mates can be part of an entire soul mate family, the spiritual complement of our biological family. Those in our soul mate family feel an instant relationship and connection to each other, knowing they will be forever connected.

Eventually, I learned about an even higher level of partnership that those of us who desire a committed relationship might aspire to. Twin flames are those we connect with so intensely, we eventually become a better version of our original selves. Unlike soul mates, the unique calling of twin flames is to achieve something special for humankind-as a couple, rather than as individuals. Examples are: former President Barack Obama and former First Lady Michelle Obama, and Bill and Melinda Gates.

When a true soul mate appears in your life, eagerly welcome him or her so that you may grow. But also keep an eye out for that rare individual who could be your twin flame. After multiple detours on my own long and winding relationship journey, I finally found my twin flame. We are a team, we are lovers, and we understand each other at our cores.

How will you know when you have found your twin flame? Here are some indisputable signs:

· He or she wants to achieve something truly meaningful-as a couple.

· He or she feels an unmistakable sense of belonging with you, and is positive that your relationship will survive, through both good and bad times.

· He or she has a higher calling than simply a thriving career, or financial success.

· He or she recognizes your talents and encourages you to expand them and become your best self.

· He or she is a beacon of light and optimism for others.

Only one twin flame will appear in our lifetimes, although there may be multiple soul mates who move into and out of our existence and help us learn valuable lessons that will contribute to our spiritual growth. However, our twin flame has a lifelong, pre-determined bond, since we share a common overarching purpose and are mirror images of the same soul. Twin flames complete each other.

Another important purpose of a twin flame relationship is to help each other heal by bringing our unresolved issues into balance. This difficult process can be intensely powerful and effective, especially when we have a common goal and an unmistakable soul connection.

You might want to look at a podcast I did awhile back with my dear friend, Dr. Una White, a Relationship Healer, who has since passed away. I miss her greatly, and often reflect on her profound teachings. Clearly a soul mate, Una entered my life when I needed guidance, validation, and a clearer understanding of myself and my purpose.

Her advice to listeners on the best ways to attract a twin flame was to be open to the Universe, but not to rush headlong into any relationship that might present itself. Other caveats: Do not have rigid requirements regarding status, physical appearance, material wealth, or job title. The most important qualification is a sincere, heart-to-heart connection.

When you meet your twin flame, you may feel that you are mirror images of the same soul, as if you were united at one time and were later separated. Twin flames complete each other, have an unmistakably intense connection, and an unshakable spiritual bond.

Welcome both soul mates and twin flames into your life, should they appear, as they are powerful teachers.

Originally published at on February 2, 2021.

Relationship Strategist, Pam Evans, is the author of Ring EXchange — Life Lessons from a Multiple Marrier.